Month: March 2011

Charlie Sheen Runs for President of the President of the United States
20Mar By jeff1 Comment
Celebrities, Politics

Charlie Sheen Runs for President of the President of the United States

NEW YORK—In a surprising move yesterday, Adonis Charlie Sheen announced that he would run for POTUS (or President of the United States), and that, obviously, everyone else who ran would fail and become “epic losers.” Mr. Sheen, no stranger to the spotlight lately, has pounced on the opportunity to see just how far his fame might take him. Even after finding out that POTUS was not a drug and that it meant he would definitely maybe have to work, he said he was still interested. Then, upon hearing that POTUS was the highest office that one could hold on the earth and that it was the next logical step in becoming MOTU (Master of the Universe), he responded immediately with, “Winning!” However, during an exclusive interview with Iron E-News, Mr. Sheen let his ambitious and creative tiger-bra...
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Gaddafi Forgets Correct Spelling of Own Name
6Mar By jeff5 Comments
Dictators

Gaddafi Forgets Correct Spelling of Own Name

LYBIA—Who is the real Muammar Gaddafi anway?  Dictator?  Dad?  Fashionista?  The man of many hats is also the man of many names but it seems that even Gaddafi is unsure now about the one his mother gave him. Last night, the more-than-famous Lybian leader, while writing a check to a local grocer in Tripoli, became confused about the correct spelling of his name, and had a bit of trouble convincing the 16-year-old teller that he really was Gaddafi. “I blame the media, you know,” Gaddafi surmised. “Reuters spells it Gaddafi, the New Yorker spells it Qaddafi, and Yahoo spells it Kadhafi.  Who can keep it straight anymore?” According to Gaddafi, the lawyer that had his birth records met an unfortunate end during the current conflict and, somehow, all the records were destroyed along wi...
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