Adidas Alpha Bounce Shoe Able to Help even the Ugliest Faces
Last August, Adidas released its all-new Alpha-Jordan NMD-Ultra shoes in yet another successful endeavor to exploit social hierarchies based on wealth and athletic ability to make some sweet money. These revolutionary shoes were popularized by social media posts involving several celebrities and athletes wearing them and doing things that serve no other purpose than to highlight their wealth through their expensive shoes. This prompted a craze in the frightfully-faced masses to buy the shoes to draw attention away from their butt-ugly mugs.
“I’m really happy with my brand new pair of Alpha-Jordan NMD-Ultra’s,” local ugly man Max Zhang said. “People used to unfairly judge me by my face. But now that shoes are the biggest thing, they look down at my feet in awe and wonder!”
Max Zhang b...