Tag: fast food

McDonald’s Acknowledges McRegret
U.S.

McDonald’s Acknowledges McRegret

McRegret is a very real thing McDonald's CEO, Steve Easterbrook, held a press conference yesterday to finally acknowledge a condition that millions and millions of customers around the globe have had to struggle with for years, sometimes decades: McRegret. Following mounting pressure from the FDA as well as a few civil lawsuits they were facing, the company decided to get ahead of the story and come clean. "We at McDonald's Co. officially recognize what has been confirmed by the American Medical Association and the FDA as a very serious emotional condition--similar to PTSD--that has affected countless numbers of Double and Triple cheeseburger-eaters across our shared planet.  And we would like to express our sympathies by giving every customer a free Super Size of Shame on their next v...
Better Living Conditions Turning Animals into Real Assholes
Sci-Tech

Better Living Conditions Turning Animals into Real Assholes

A new study was published yesterday in the Journal of Food Science and Technology by a collaboration of food scientists on the dangers of better living conditions for animals who are used as a food resource. The article illustrates an alarming trend in the attitudes of poultry, pig, and cow and shows that they have gone from being content with their lot in life to actually expecting better food, open spaces, and even random hugs and kisses. "There is a direct correlation between the animals' increasingly sedentary and cushy lives and their change in attitudes," reported food scientist Dr. Ino Beder.  "Normally, we wouldn't be so worried, but we actually had a pig force us to pet it for about an hour the other day.  It's getting a little ridiculous." This study was not lost on some of th...