Area Man’s Social Life not as Impressive as Facebook Page Suggests

To the untrained eye, Brit Crinkler’s profile page on the number one social networking site in the world comes across as not only impressive but, as some might say, bordering on showy.  One of the woman editors of this paper, upon viewing the young man’s profile, likened it to drinking a Grey Goose martini straight out of Sean Connery’s mouth.

But the results are in Mr. Crinkler—the veil has been removed, if you will—and it doesn’t look good.

According to the younger brother Ty, there is an alarming disparity between Brit’s actual number of friends in real life and the number listed on his page.

Apparently, Brit claims to have upwards of 1,250 friends; and somehow the rest of the world has believed him for over five years.  At first glance, this seems to qualify him for some sort of Guinness record, but upon further examination, a hundred of those are acquaintances, 2 hundred are friends of friends, and 5 to 7 hundred are people that he has never even met!

All of this makes one wonder if everything else is not a sham—it might even make one question the very fabric of our social existence.  For instance, has he read all of those intellectually stimulating books listed as his favorites?  And does he even know who Miles Davis and John Coltrane are?

Apparently, what has been the Mount Rushmore of social web pages is really just paper mache and some glitter paint.

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