Celebrity relationships are best held to a different standard – not to say that it should necessarily be lower, per se, just different. Since it’s been well-established that celebrities are not normal human beings, but heavenly bodies, they shouldn’t be held to regular, boring conceptions of love and commitment.
By common standards, a long relationship is anywhere between 20 and 30 years. By celebrity standards, however, a long-term commitment can be anywhere between one and five (months). If a celebrity couple makes it past an inconceivable ten years, it leaves them open to criticism as to whether they were truly a celebrity, which would be far worse than if they were to break off the relationship.
Think of it this way: we would never expect a puppy to live past 15 full years, so why should we expect the puppy love of a Hollywood romance to live longer than it does?
Because of this, we offer a new, more appropriate, lens by which to view star-lit relationships:
The Honeymoon Period (normally around 6 months to a year): 1 hour
The Adjustment Phase (1 to 2 years): 1 day
The Escape Phase (5 to 7 years): 1 month
The Reassessment Period (10 years): 1 year
The Growing Together Stage (15 years): Year 2
The Mid-life Strife Stage (20 years): Years 3-4
The Golden Ages (50+): 5 to 10 years
*These few faithful examples are enough to highlight the new standard, but not nearly enough to highlight our years and years of committed research (though I wouldn’t say we’re married to it).