Tom Seether, well into his late thirties now, works at Middlemen Incorporated, a company dedicated to providing services for “middle men”. He’s disgruntled now.
But things weren’t always this way.
“I remember when I was so new and gruntled,” Tom recalled. “So gruntled,” he added with a slight sigh. “And that’s exactly what I call them now: the good ole gruntled days.”
We asked his colleagues and they confirmed.
“I didn’t think an employee could be as gruntled as Tom was,” one of his colleagues offered. “His gruntled-ness was almost contagious…almost.”
“We’re the middle men for the middle man industry,” Tom said sardonically. “If you have a service that connects the consumer to another service, then we’re here to serve your service,” he continued, in mocking recitation.
“It’s the stupidest F*%#ing thing on the planet!”
After twenty minutes of pure vitriol laced with pejoratives that we had never heard before and certainly can’t publish, we asked Tom if he was on any meds.
“Do you know what I am on?” he asked, in an unmistakably non-rhetorical manner. “I’m on the crazy train to crazy town. I’ve got a few stops I have to take because I can’t afford a private train but, after that–after those stops–I’m definitely going there!”
*Dedicated to comedian, Steven Wright