Local Man Saves Commute by Keeping his Knees at a Normal Distance

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Local commuter, Glenn Bekk–not to be confused with Glenn Beck, the conservative radio personality–has been deemed a hero this week as he publicly grasped the concept of “Man Spread”. The heroic effort took place at rush hour, Monday morning.

Commuters were astonished to see the effort put into the deed itself.

“It was magical,” said one female commuter. “He saw that I was sitting next to him, and he actually gave me the room to exist; I could not be believe it!” Neither could her pet Chihuahua, Mrs. Kernal, who yipped and jumped during the whole interview.

An MTA worker who witnessed the event, watched in disbelief. “It’s one of those stories that you hear about by the water cooler, but to actually be there – right in the action – man, what an experience,” he stated. “It’s almost as if he was aware of his surroundings and knew that he could spare the space, even though he has testicles.”

In honor of the heroics, Mayor Bill de Blasio, has declared this day, “Glenn Bekk Day.”

We spoke to the hero himself and this is what he said:

“I used to have the worst man-spread..until I got a ticket for it in Madrid. It’s illegal there,” said Glenn. “So now I am always mindful of my spread.”

We reached out to the seat he sat on, but have yet to get a response.

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