A representative for Pop Music, formerly a rep for Bubblegum Pop, and before that, Cotton Candy Pop, recently announced a major change for the genre:
A new chord.
The official, Mr. Brad Lissener, made the announcement in the wake of revelations that World Music was getting rid of one because it had way too many.
“Today marks the beginning of a new era for our genre,” began Mr. Lissener. “After years and years of making songs that really could all be mashed together into one 2,000 hour-long song, we have decided to increase the number of official, distinct chords to three.”
Yanni, the current spokesman for his own “genre”, saw the move as a step in the right direction:
“First of all, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the world for making me: right out of its beautiful belly I emanated like a beam of kaleidoscopic light–no, no like a wave of rapturous, musical thunder I came forth (the thunder was not like drums at all, you know, but more like a thousand large indigenous men pounding on their abdomens before drums were even invented). I came forth out of that belly (not the indigenous men’s) to make music. And to make this comment. What are we talking about again?”
We returned to Yanni later and he had this to say:
“Ah yes, little Pop. She’s like a small child, isn’t she? So simple and not like me at all. I decided to let her have one of my chords because all breath comes from the same wind, no? Regardless of how stupid and simple that soul may be.”
“And also because we have like 50,000 chords.”
Fans had mixed emotions, ranging from disgust to shock to pure trepidation.
“Like, it’s going to be a learning curve for sure – and I mean lovely lady learning curves, for real,” said one anxious fan.
Another fan was not as hopeful.
“Why they gotta mess with my milkshake?! My titanium! Am I right? If it work work work work work, why fix it?”