Rep. Ryan Zinke Named Cabinet’s Interior Decorator

Congressman Zinke ready to decorate the sh*t out of stuff

Montana Representative Ryan Zinke was given the senatorial “green light” to take on a job of timely importance: redecorating the White House.

His official title, Decorator of the Interior, makes him primarily responsible for Trump’s cabinet.

“My immediate priority will be to focus on the cabinet,” revealed Congressman Zinke. “First of all, why is there only one?  The White House is huge.  We could definitely fit more.  Second of all, we could probably afford a new one.  I’ve seen the budget.”

Originally, the panel were considering the famous team consisting of Ted Allen, Carson Kressley, Kyan Douglas, and Thom Filicia for the job but voted no because they felt Trump and the team wouldn’t see eye to eye.

Besides his main job at the presidential residence, apparently Zinke has been given creative control of approximately 400 million acres of public land, predominantly in the West.

“Lots of drapes.  Ooh, that reminds me–I gotta put in that order for half a billion yards of ribbon.  I think the cows have been bored long enough.”

“He’s obviously our top choice,” responded House Speaker Paul Ryan.   “His background from Montana means he’s going to bring the right shade of drab that the President is looking for.”

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