Saudi Arabia Allows Women to Vote on which Men will Make All the Decisions

RIYADH–In a historic step towards equality, Saudi women can now cast their ballot for which men they want to control their lives.

Coming on the heels of a similar directive, which allowed women to choose which shade of very black they wanted, this decision has equal implications and even greater value for all involved.

The progressive move from the great egalitarian monarch–whether political, conciliatory, or both–is unparalleled in the ultra-conservative kingdom and comes at just the right time.

Along with the edict, King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al Saud has attached a clause which requires the woman to drive to the voting place herself which, of course, is illegal and carries a heavy fine or a penalty of 10 lashes.  According to his secretary, he thought that the women should have to “work for it.”

The law will go into effect in 2015 (when the 87 year old leader will most likely be dead) and is being hailed as both just and economical, since they will save on not having to buy privacy curtains for the ballot booths.  Others have rightly pointed out that they will probably avoid this historic moment altogether, since the world will most likely come to an end in 2012 (which Iron E-News has faithfully reported).

“Out of the abundance of his grace and mercy toward the lesser of our species,” the king’s spokesman said in a press conference, “Our beneficent ruler has gone above and beyond what is right or deserved, and through this law, has further proven that we treat our women with decency and respect.  The king wishes he could be here today but is busy overseeing the execution of a few who just couldn’t keep their veil on.”

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