Socially Awkward Lab Rat Thankful for ‘Xanax Day’

It’s Monday again, otherwise known as Xanax Day, and local lab specimen Ernie 13 is a rat reborn.

“Xanaday Xanadu! I feel sooooo good right now,” Ernie said with a big grin. “Man, I could go to like ten parties all at once. Yeah, ten parties wrapped in big fat party balls…balls…cheese balls…mmmmm, cheese.”

“Did you guys hear about the party tonieeeeeeeeeght?!” Ernie asked his fellow contained compadres.

“There’s no party Ernie,” responded Raz 121. “Unless you consider a small rice wafer and electroshock a party, then yes, it’s always a party in here.”

“Yooouuuu guys. You funny funny guys,” Ernie went on with a wink (and a bit of redness) in his eye. “That’s why I love hanging out with you guys so much – always with the laughs. Do you think Eve 2182 is going to make it to the party tonight? Man, she is fine.”

“What are you talking about?” Bob 01 asked incredulously. “Love hanging out with us? Ha. You would rather get lost in a maze made of cat heads than hang out with a big group. You do realize that’s the Xanax talking.”

“And there’s more where that came from next Monday! Woohoo. And actually, if you guys wanted, I have a way to get you the goods on any day of the week. I just need to talk to Eve.”

“You didn’t hear?” Raz asked, his grin widening. “She got shipped to a new facility just yesterday.”

“Cheese balls.” Ernie answered.