Tag: airport security

Airport Security Measures to be Revised
U.S.

Airport Security Measures to be Revised

A $100 permit and microchip implant a must for iguana identification?  Too many iguanas?  Watch out.  Iguanas growing to be 6 feet long?  May live 20 years?  Terrorist iguanas? Never mind iguanas.  Forget it.  Just take off your shoes and don’t bring too much shampoo or shaving lotion to the airport.  Is your pen poison?  Are you a little weird in the lips, oddly dressed, say a suit and tie?   Well, stand by.  No micro chips yet, but we hired a few thousand donkeys at the airports to search our “iguana” for weapons of mass eruption, fondling our parts and bags, dipping into the nothing they so dearly love.  Heaven help your orange for lunch.  Have a pretzel, a plastic glass of coke.  No iguanas on the plane.  We double fine iguanas and no gum. A seemingly innocent man in blue suit, b...