How to Win Facebook Friends and Influence Virtual People
1. Send gaming invites every day. This is probably the most crucial aspect of getting (and keeping) friends. Candy Crush invitations let people know that you care.
2. Keep an up-to-date stream of selfie pics so that people know you haven’t changed in the last hour.
3. Fill your news feed with cliches and quotes that you pulled from rainbow cat posters - "Today is better than yesterday because you’re in it”.
4. Fill your newsfeed with rainbow cat posters.
6. Use your update status as your own personal diary – no little tidbit, random thought, or seemingly inane event should be left out.
7. Keep internet jokes alive during that lull period – you know, when they’re not funny anymore. Because when they’re finally funny again in a year or two, you can say you were ahead of...