Tag: satire

U.S. Totally Retains Moral Authority in Lybia
11May By jeff4 Comments
U.S.

U.S. Totally Retains Moral Authority in Lybia

Iron E-Newswire Official Transcript Mrs. Clinton:  Good morning everyone.  Can you hear me okay?  Well, as some of you may already know, we have begun imposing an arms embargo and unilateral sanctions against Mu’uammar Gaddafi and his regime.  The situation in Lybia has come to the point where we feel this action is both justified and entirely necessary, and furthermore, we are confident it will seriously disrupt both his network of operations and his ability to move weapons and forces on the ground. Iron E-News:  Mrs. Clinton, this is Mr. Jolt with Iron E-News.  Good morning and congratulations to both you and the President.  Does this signal a new era for U.S.-Iranian relations? Mrs. Clinton:  I’m not sure what you mean.  Are you referring to Lybia? Iron E-News:  Iran—the arms ...
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Ahmadinejad Creates Fascistbook–The Cure for the Lonely Dictator
1Apr By jeff3 Comments
Dictators

Ahmadinejad Creates Fascistbook–The Cure for the Lonely Dictator

TEHRAN, IRAN – For Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, life as a dictator is starting to take its toll. His answer: FASCISTBOOK. It is quickly becoming a hit with autocrats everywhere. "I love it," Putin put in. "It's almost as beautiful as my body.  Almost." In an extremely candid and colorful interview with Iron E-News, the Iranian leader showed us his vulnerable side and talked about how his important position and responsibilities have not come without their costs. “Being a beloved despot is not as easy or glamorous as some might think,” Ahmadinejad revealed. “There are too few leaders who can relate, you know—who do what I do day in and day out. Honestly, it’s lonely at the top of tyranny.” So Mahmoud, while working with Microsoft on his latest censorship programs, created an innovativ...
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Charlie Sheen Runs for President of the President of the United States
20Mar By jeff1 Comment
Celebrities, Politics

Charlie Sheen Runs for President of the President of the United States

NEW YORK—In a surprising move yesterday, Adonis Charlie Sheen announced that he would run for POTUS (or President of the United States), and that, obviously, everyone else who ran would fail and become “epic losers.” Mr. Sheen, no stranger to the spotlight lately, has pounced on the opportunity to see just how far his fame might take him. Even after finding out that POTUS was not a drug and that it meant he would definitely maybe have to work, he said he was still interested. Then, upon hearing that POTUS was the highest office that one could hold on the earth and that it was the next logical step in becoming MOTU (Master of the Universe), he responded immediately with, “Winning!” However, during an exclusive interview with Iron E-News, Mr. Sheen let his ambitious and creative tiger-bra...
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Gaddafi Forgets Correct Spelling of Own Name
6Mar By jeff5 Comments
Dictators

Gaddafi Forgets Correct Spelling of Own Name

LYBIA—Who is the real Muammar Gaddafi anway?  Dictator?  Dad?  Fashionista?  The man of many hats is also the man of many names but it seems that even Gaddafi is unsure now about the one his mother gave him. Last night, the more-than-famous Lybian leader, while writing a check to a local grocer in Tripoli, became confused about the correct spelling of his name, and had a bit of trouble convincing the 16-year-old teller that he really was Gaddafi. “I blame the media, you know,” Gaddafi surmised. “Reuters spells it Gaddafi, the New Yorker spells it Qaddafi, and Yahoo spells it Kadhafi.  Who can keep it straight anymore?” According to Gaddafi, the lawyer that had his birth records met an unfortunate end during the current conflict and, somehow, all the records were destroyed along wi...
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