Tag: sports news

Olympic Curler now Grateful for Dad’s OCD
Sports

Olympic Curler now Grateful for Dad’s OCD

Olympic curling specialist Arthur P. Luck feels like he was born for this sport. It wasn't always this way though.  Growing up in the heartland of middle America, he had never actually heard of the sport until he was a senior in high school. "I always say I didn't pick curling, it was more like it picked me," Arthur said candidly.  "And, honestly, I feel like I have an unfair advantage over everyone else because I have been training for this my whole life.  Those brooms, they're like an extension of my own hand." Arthur's family couldn't be prouder of what he's become.  But especially his dad. "My boy sure can sweep!" Art's dad beamed.  "He's like a super sweeper - out there cleaning the ice rinks of the world.  At every competition, when he comes over to see us, I always say, 'missed a...
The Pope on Aaron Rodgers’ Season: “His Hail Mary’s were Full of Grace”
Religion, Sports

The Pope on Aaron Rodgers’ Season: “His Hail Mary’s were Full of Grace”

Iron E-Sports News was given an exclusive interview with the 266th pope of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Francis (or Jorge Mario Bergoglio to his mom) to get his take on the current state of the NFL as well as a few thoughts on last year's season. Pope Francis, a well respected sports gambler, said he had his money on Aaron Rodgers early on in the season. "Aaron is blessed," the Francis revealed.  "He's the only one who consistently relies on the holy 'hail mary' pass.  Other quarterbacks neglect it to their own detriment." "You may not know this, but I also always put a little money down for the Browns because God roots for the underdog." When asked about how God handles conflicting prayers from the various teams, Pope Francis had some surprising remarks: "God plays favorite...
Cleveland Browns Suggest ‘Personal Best’ Bowl Once in a While
Sports

Cleveland Browns Suggest ‘Personal Best’ Bowl Once in a While

In a highly publicized press conference yesterday, Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam discussed his recent meeting with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell about a proposal to restructure the league’s reward system. Mr. Haslam felt that the NFL too often reflects the negative aspects of competitive capitalism in that the rich teams are usually rewarded simply for being rich while the poor teams tend to languish in their poverty. So, instead of opting for Robin Hood economics or an all-out coup d’etat, Haslam suggested an American alternative: straight up charity. He also felt that his proposal was in line with other common American practices, such as the celebration of mediocrity and the love for the underdog. “It’ll be like attending your sister’s 5th grade graduation,” an anonymo...