Tag: summer

Report: Swamp Butt on the Rise in Texas and Much of the South
U.S.

Report: Swamp Butt on the Rise in Texas and Much of the South

Last night, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a report informing the nation of the terrible, reoccurring health and safety issue known as "Swamp Butt". SB, which generally coincides with excessively warm summers, is a condition in which one's butt crack takes on a life of its own and becomes a steaming, wet, inhospitable marsh of death.  Although not contagious per se, it is very unpredictable and extremely difficult to manage once symptoms present themselves. "The situation is quickly becoming widespread," reported one CDC agent rather gravely.  "And honestly, it's a considerable risk to, well, to anyone who’s not blind.  Just to warn you, anyone within a 20 yard radius may be in danger—not of catching it, no—of just being really, really grossed out." Iron E-News s...