MIAMI—A Dallas man was arrested yesterday after Miami police discovered that he had kidnapped and then impersonated Heat star Lebron James during the NBA Finals against the Mavericks earlier this month in what has to be the wildest scheme ever to help the Mavs achieve basketball glory.
Apparently it worked.
Detectives who opened the case said that they were tipped off by suspicious activity during games four, five, and six of the championship series.
“Something was definitely hinkey,” reported Miami detective Jack Emup. “We watched all the games at the station, and we knew something was wrong, but we never would’ve suspected this.”
According to police, the man they apprehended played college ball on a division one team, underwent facial reconstructive surgery, and even got the same tattoos as James so that he could go virtually undetected on the court. And he almost got away with it too.
“We’re just glad to have the real Lebron back,” announced Heat owner Micky Arison. “And after instituting a few new security measures, we’re gonna focus on next year and do our best to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”