The United States Men’s National Soccer Team is beefing up their defensive strategy in preparations for the 2018 World Cup.
By building better walls.
The proposition by the current president, Donald Trump, to build a 2,000 mile border wall in between Mexico and the United States has become a source of inspiration to many, including Coach Gary Arenas.
“We’re trying to make the American team great again,” Coach Arenas revealed. “And that’s going to happen by building walls. Big, yugemoungous walls are going to keep soccer balls out and keep us in the hunt for the World Cup.”
According to the team, they have had too many encroachments around their 20-yard box thus instigating the need for a defensive change.
“We usually put about four or five guys together to block a free kick,” US Captain Michael Bradley said. “But the new ‘Trump Wall’ will be able to keep out anything because it will basically be the entire team up there. Every time. We don’t care what it may cost us–we know we can rely on the ideas of a former reality TV star on this.”
Apparently, the US national team is not the only organization (or person) using Trump’s plans.
“Walls are totally in right now,” Vogue magazine confirmed. “From Paris to Milan to New York, celebrities and models are wearing huge blocks of cinder with rebar sticking out. It’s beautiful.”
Benefiting from one of the great ideas from one of the greatest minds of the 21st century, it seems USMNT is well on its way to clean sheets, then to the World Cup.