White House: “Unlikely Trump said ‘shithole’ because it’s a two-syllable word”

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White House Press Secretary Raj Shah released a statement yesterday concerning President Trump and his referring to some immigrant countries as “shitholes”.

Mr. Shah said that it was unlikely that the president used this term since it was a multi-syllabic word–or, according to President Trump, “it had more than one sybable.”

According to lawmakers who met with the president in the Oval Office last Thursday, Trump used the expression after retiring protections were suggested for immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador, and some African countries.

“The president is fighting for what’s best for America,” Mr. Shah said emphatically.  “And what’s best for America is to speak the worst of everyone else.”

During the discussion, President Trump suggested that America bring in more people from countries that were–coincidentally–white and rich, in an effort to curb incoming problems such as terrorism, drugs, poorness, and color.  He also did so in a very Trump-like manner.

“Our president likes to use the language of the common man,” Mr. Shah explained.  “And he’s made it very clear that when we’re around him we are to avoid using ‘stuck up talk’.

According to his aides, in an effort to adopt a common language in meetings, briefings, and such, a glossary of Trump-speak has been circulated to anyone who may need to interact with the president.

To give a few examples, “briefing” is now called “meet meet”, “documents” are “tough stuff”, and “immigration” is referred to as “poop”.

Unfortunately, the rest of the room seemed to forget that when Trump was using words like “poop” and “poop holes”, he was, according to the Trump-speak primer, trying to say “third world immigrant”.

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