Self-respecting women all over the globe are giving up their struggle for equality with men, and are now fighting for something – anything – else.
It seems that the newest addition to the Oval Office is the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
“We’re okay with inequality now,” said Republican Senator from Maine, Susan Collins, while watching a recent presidential address. “No, really, we don’t mind. It’s time we raise our standard anyway.”
Former first lady Barbara Bush had a similar, almost visceral, reaction: “If equality means being considered equivalent to that (holding up a picture of Trump) then we don’t want it.”
“I agree,” commented the former governor of New Jersey, Christine Todd Whitman. “Equality is now an offensive term – from a mathematical point of view, we’re thinking the ‘greater than’ symbol is much more representative here.”
This incredibly progressive push from the greater sex must now be credited to our Commander-in-Chief; for without all of his Trumpyness, they never would have reached for such great heights.
*The Donald on women:
“You have to treat ’em like shit.” (New York magazine, Nov. 9, 1992)
“She’s not giving me 100 percent. She’s giving me 84 percent, and 16 percent is going towards taking care of children.” (TIME, May 23, 2011)
“You know, it really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” (Esquire, 1991)
In the words of Buzz ‘Lightyear’ Aldrin, we pray they reach “to infinity and beyond.”