Years Later, Son Realizes Awkward Conversation with Dad Something Much More Ominous

Jerry Fannersgraft was sitting in his college Bio class when, out of the blue, it dawned on him: That one time his dad came into his room sweaty and disheveled, muttering something about The Lion King was in fact “The Sex Talk”. Immediately after this thought, he felt quite ill.

Jerry opened up to Iron E-News after his class, recounting every gory detail.

“I was on Youtube when my dad came in and sat down on my bed,” relayed the younger Fannersgraft.  “I was pretty involved in this screaming orange but I could tell that something was up.”

Apparently, the day before, Mr. Fannersgraft was watching Juno when he started to notice his wife’s stack of movies (ones his son was allowed to watch for some reason): Grease, Dirty Dancing, Sixteen Candles, Ghost (Ghost for God’s sake!).

“When he came in, he looked like he had just finished a half marathon or something. And then he let out this hyena laugh–weirdest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

The ensuing conversation, though not verbatim, was retold to us by Jerry as he sat looking dazed but no longer confused.

“Hey there son, son, son of mine!  Whatchya doin’?  Busy?  I can come back, no big deal.  No?  Ok.  (clears throat).  Well, I need to talk to you about something, you know.  You know?  Cause if you already know then we’re good right?  Do you know?  No?  Ok.  Right.  You remember in The Lion King how there was this circle thing–(clears throat again).  No, that’s no good.  Let me just get right to it: se–se–seventy is about when we all die, right?  Yeah.  And then we all realize how great life was but then it’s too late, isn’t it?  Man, what a paradox.  Life and death, life and death.  But I’m talking more about the life part.  And now we’re back to the circle.  Man, Lion King was a good movie, wasn’t it?”

“And then he left.  It made me want to look at his pupils and ask who he’d been hanging out with lately.”

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