LinkedIn Tips on How to not Suck at your Job

Tip #1: Join LinkedIn. Duh. This is probably the most important path to success at your workplace and, we would argue, in your entire life – much more important than working hard, being reliable, etc.

Tip #2: Smile a lot. Smiling creates a good impression and is always appropriate, especially when you don’t know what you’re doing. If you’re that person who is generally thought of as incompetent or lazy, smiling will make up for it.

Tip #3: Hide everything with good body language. If you’re in an interview, and they’re asking about certain “glossy” parts of your resume, remain calm, put your hand to your chin, and then, while squinting just a bit, respond with a few steady, pensive head nods. In your mind, whisper “nailed it” over and over. They will be so impressed by your confident demeanor!

Tip #4: Stay coach-able. Even if you don’t (or can’t) actually learn anything new, they say that keeping up appearances is important. And it is! There is a reason why people say things, and a reason why we are saying this right now.

Tip #5: Act like the best. Becoming successful requires investment. And since you will never become the best, you can at least act like it, which is why we recommend investing in acting classes.

Tip #6: Join LinkedIn. Because it’s twice as important as anything else.

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