COVID Graph Takes Top Prize at Graph Awards

The city of Shanghai was reeling yesterday upon hearing the news that it had taken the ultimate prize in science and mathematics: an International Graph Award.

The reaction was immediate. And electric.

People flung open their windows, shouting at the top of their lungs in wild jubilation; they hung gigantic banners and flags of ‘graph’ across millions of apartments throughout the merry metropolis. Children wore graph-adorned t-shirts and women flashed their graph bling all to show support and celebrate a much needed win for the city.

Chants of ‘Graph! Graph! Graph!’ could be heard for miles and miles.

“I just can’t believe it,” said one local resident through her tears, “We’ve wanted this for so long, and for it to happen this year (of all years), it’s just too good to be true. People are going to look back and say, ‘I remember exactly where I was when we won the Graph awards.’ I mean, sure, everyone was in their apartments but you know what I mean.”

The Shanghai team was an obvious front-runner this year, considering the sheer number of graphs being disseminated to the public on a hourly basis. Initially, they had considered submitting a graph showing the effectiveness of their graphs, but eventually went with the now award-winning, “COVID in Color”.

“It really puts the ‘A’ in STEAM, doesn’t it?” queried Brian Tarkowski, one of the judges of the event. “The A stands for Art, you know.”

President Xi, who has been locked down in a private resort in Hainan for the past month, was effervescent in his praise:

“Good job.”

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