Local Man

Area Control Freak Reports OCD Under Control

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World-wide self-acclaimed blogger and self-published publisher/editor/writer/artist, Mark Krotzchety (pronounced “Krotzchety”), wants you to know that he’s finally got his nagging compulsions under control. Apparently, he’s organized everything into a master calendar. “That’s right,” Mark said….

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Local Introvert Mistaken for Asshole

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Area anti-socialite, Phil Koff, was wandering down the aisle of his local grocery store–minding his own quiet business–when he spotted a first-time acquaintance, Cher Tumuch, approaching ominously from the other direction. Though Mr. Koff did…


Man Prefers to Inwardly Like Facebook Posts

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Area man, Pat Myas, is a lover of all things Facebook, but his friends on the popular social media site would never know it. According to our sources, Pat has the “annoying” habit of secretly…



Local Man Gives Up Lent for Lent

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The religious observance of fasting and prayer known as Lent, which began on Wednesday, March 1 and ends Thursday, April 13, is quickly coming to a close. Observed by many branches of the Christian faithful–from…


Local Man Pretty Sure He has Telekenesis

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“This is not glued to my head, as some of you may think.” Harold Crumbs, also known as Voldvaderon to millions of online gamers, is 98 percent sure he can move things with his brain….