Yuge Sinkhole Detected in D.C.

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Trump’s mouth possible ground zero

An all-points emergency bulletin has been issued by the Federal Emergency Management Agency, calling on all Washington D.C. area response teams to convene with urgency on 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Apparently, a yuge sinkhole has been detected in or around the White House residence.

“We’re closely monitoring the situation,” said DC Fire and EMS Chief Gregory Dean.  “Not only that, but we’re working in tandem with other departments to salvage whomever and whatever we can.”

According to FEMA, this is without doubt, one of the worst disasters in our nation’s history.

“Not only is it one of the worst (and we’ve had some bad ones),” reported acting director of FEMA, Robert Fenton Jr.  “it has become so in record time.  This is right up there with 2001, ’69, and even old ones going back to 1921 and 1857.”

Apparently, sinkholes of this nature, if underestimated and left unchecked, can do significant and irreversible damage to individuals, ecosystems, and even entire societies.

“We’re brainstorming every possible solution right now,” Chief Dean revealed cautiously.  “If we can’t shut it up completely (which is the end goal) we can at least put barricades up around the lip and try and keep people out of harm’s way.”

Because of the unfortunate position of this hole, the potential damage to the White House (and all that it stands on) is another major concern.

“That’s true,” Director Fenton replied. “However there is still some hope that, with the cooperation of every agency, this hole won’t become a four or even eight-year disaster (like some in the past).”

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