Next to a cold gaggling brook, in a small but verdant patch of green, settled serenely in the heart of the North American deciduous forest–the place where that “fresh car smell” is born–lives a baby cottontail rabbit named Booby.
And, as you can see from the picture above, this is no ordinary Sylvilagus Floridanus! You may remember him as the star of our award-winning biopic “A Glorious Tail” (previously titled “Can’t See the Forest for the Booby” and also just “Booby Bunny: The Life and Times”).
Field reporter Bev Jolt, after living among the woodland creatures for 2 years, grew very close to Booby and gained an invaluable insider’s perspective. As a follow-up to the biopic, she offers a wildly provocative account of inter-animal relationships and hidden forest drama.
“Fake,” snarled Chuck the woodchuck during one of the breaks between shooting the film. “I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not jealousy, Bev. We just happen to know the real Booby. That cutesy, high-pitched Beiberesque voice with the girlish giggle at the end of every sentence: fake. His real voice is somewhere between Columbo and Christian Bale’s version of Batman. And his adorable little puppy dog eyes? That’s right: fake. Hand to God, he stole those from an actual puppy!”
“Oh yes, the demon, you mean,” said Jerry the British raccoon referring to Booby (in a sterling British accent, of course). “He is peachy to look at, I dare say, but evil nonetheless. Quite right old chap–evil incarnate. He and I went out for drinks about a fortnight ago, and before morning, his name was somehow on the deed to my house. Devilish little fellow!”
After reading page after page of what Bev called “ridiculous and hurtful slander”, Iron E-News decided to fly Bev and her new husband, Booby, back to our headquarters to get his side of the story.
We would like to extend a heartfelt congratulations to Bev’s new man who will also, apparently, be our new boss since Bev is (well, we should say “was”) a majority shareholder in the company.
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